Zamboni
by Cupid's Nightmare
Summary: When you insist that you can't do something, you can't. Even if Ryoma DOES have good balance. TezuFuji, hints of TezuRyoFuji, first fic, oneshot.


A/N: first Tenipuri fic ever…wow. This is the first of my recent fandoms that I've actually managed to write in. I feel so ashamed after all my Furuba ravings…and my swooning over TsuxSoka one-shots in the Yami no Matsuei section…and my Pet Shop of Horrors phase…and…why the HELL did I buy Trigun manga? The anime is waaaaaaaaaay better!

And no, there are no Zambonis in this fic. I just like the word Zamboni. Just like lob…lob….lob…LOB!

Summary: Echizen Ryoma is going to learn how to ice-skate, whether he likes it or not…

Pairings: Golden Pair, mini InuKai, TezuFuji, maybe TezuRyoFuji hints.

Disclaimer: Konomi-sensei owns them. I settle for messing around with the photocopies I have in my head. -snicker-

-x-X-x-

Echizen Ryoma could not decide if he was shocked or horrified. Whichever it turned out to be, it would not change the fact that he wasn't going to give in easily. He would break his composure, kick and scream if he had to, anything to get away from this outing. He was approaching the building and he saw his teammates waiting for him. He almost gulped, but resisted the urge. He was going to fail. It was fated that he would fail and they would all laugh at him.

Even Momoshiro and Kaidoh had been apprehensive. But they had not resisted the combined gravitational pull of Tezuka's authority and Fuji's smile. The third years had all actually wanted to come here. The second years had just surrendered! This was a torture chamber. It was going to kill him.

Why had he agreed?

-x-X-x-

_"We're going ice-skating tomorrow," Tezuka stated, his voice monotone. "Sensei booked the rink for us already."_

_"We were supposed to go last year as well, but they were renovating the rink, so I guess Echizen won't be the only one who hasn't been on the Regulars trip," Oishi continued. "We have to be there for eight in the morning and everyone should probably bring a jacket in case it gets too chilly. After all, it is winter."_

_"Let's go now, nya!" Eiji cried._

_"…Fssssssssssshhhuuuu. I can't…skate," Kaidoh admitted, almost looking sheepish._

_"Neither can I, for that matter," Momo added._

_"Can you skate, Ochibi?" Eiji prodded._

_Ryoma tugged his cap down. "Iie."_

_"We'll teach you three, nya!"_

_"I don't think I can –" Ryoma began._

_"If you value your position on this team, you will. It's mandatory that all Regulars attend and you are a Regular, Echizen. No one gets special treatment."_

_Ryoma's eyes widened, invisible under his cap. "Buchou…?"_

_"All right, everyone. Five laps to cool down, then hit the showers. Inui, get everyone's shoe sizes so we can rent for those who don't have skates."_

_"Hai," Inui replied, following the others to gather the data._

_"Buchou…do I really have to go?"_

_Tezuka didn't look at him, only nodded. The captain was staring at Fuji, who stared right back. Fuji nodded before joining in the laps._

-x-X-x-

"Ohayou, senpai-tachi," Ryoma greeted blankly.

Momo smiled nervously. "Good luck, Echizen…mamushi."

"Fssssssssshuu," Kaidoh replied, stalking inside behind Inui, Fuji and Tezuka.

"How pleasant," Oishi said, almost sarcastic, but not quite making it as Eiji dragged him inside.

Kawamura smiled at his kouhais. "It's only hard at first. Don't worry. Let's go in."

The rink was beautiful, as much as Ryoma hated to admit it.

He was snapped out of his admiring trance at the sound of Inui's voice.

"Who needs skates?"

Kaidoh, Momo and Ryoma were somewhat embarrassed by the fact that they were the only three that didn't own a pair. The rental skates were bright blue, but clean. Everyone else owned a pair of black, comfortably scuffed boots.

-x-X-x-

"Echizen…" came the soft voice.

Ryoma protested indignantly as Fuji turned him around to face the rink, only halfway through putting on the first skate.

The tensai opened his eyes. "Echizen, the skates are not to touch the ground. It's a rule."

Tezuka appeared beside the tensai. They were both already in their skates. Creepily, they wore the same grey turtleneck sweaters, though it was probably just coincidence. Tezuka was different, however, in that he wore a pair of jeans where Fuji had voted for a pair of black slacks (A/N: The image is hot, admit it…M-chan agreed).

"Fuji, sit down," the captain commanded.

"Hai, buchou."

As soon as Fuji's behind hit the wooden bench that surrounded the ice, Tezuka had knelt before him. Ryoma's mind irrationally conjured an image of a man proposing to a woman. He shoved the second skate on and was somewhat irked to hear…

"Fuji…your laces aren't tied at all."

"Maybe it's an excuse to see you on your knees."

"I'm not going to grace that with a reply." Tezuka simply tied the laces tightly before getting to his feet. "Help Echizen out while I check everyone else's boots. We don't want anyone hurting themselves."

"What about _your_ laces?" Fuji asked, hefting Ryoma's foot onto his thigh to tie the laces.

"Oishi checked them."

Ryoma could have sworn he saw jealousy flicker in his senpai's eyes as Tezuka glided over to Momoshiro and Kaidoh. He mentally noted that the senior was just as graceful on ice as he was on the tennis court. It was completely irrational and it nearly scared him…nearly. Echizen Ryoma was not weak enough to be scared by a thought that was natural for a boy at the beginning of puberty. It was then that he realized Fuji was done tying his laces and everyone was waiting for him.

Kawamura had Momo's arm in his grasp and Kaidoh was being steadied by Inui. Eiji had already started skating circles around Oishi, who was situated in the middle of the ice. Ryoma's stomach almost lurched. Both Tezuka and Fuji had a hand stretched toward him.

He placed a hand in each of theirs, then attempted to stand. He started to slide but both upperclassmen placed a free hand on his back. He clutched their hands tightly, though he wore a blank expression.

"Are you ready to try?" Fuji asked.

"…Hai."

"Just slide one foot, then the other…"

He almost fell.

Tezuka's warm breath hit his ear as he spoke, moving his hand from Ryoma's back to his arm. "You're sliding inward, like you're walking. You have to stop walking. Stand on the very edge of the blade."

Ryoma did so.

"Let's try again."

Ryoma managed three 'steps', reveling in the gentle tone of the captain's voice before falling. This process repeated itself four times more before Ryoma folded his arms, sitting on the ground with a pout on his face.

"This isn't working…" Fuji began.

"How about…" Tezuka suggested, as though that was the whole thought in his mind.

"That could work, I guess. Who first, though?"

A chiming ring answered the question. "Fuji, it's up to you. I have to take this call."

"Atobe?"

"Yes."

Fuji's tone became cold. "Fine, you don't need to help."

"Fuji…"

"Gomen."

Fuji tugged Ryoma to his feet and held both of his kouhai's hands, beginning to skate backward. Ryoma slid forward slowly after him. Tezuka was sitting on the bench at the side.

-x-X-x-

Ryoma was becoming very suspicious after half an hour. He'd repeatedly slid forward too fast, colliding with Fuji's chest. Each time, Fuji would smile very slightly, regarding him with slices of blue, eyes half-lidded. After the thirty minutes, Tezuka had skated over, looking decidedly frustrated. He'd taken Fuji's place as the tensai had claimed that he needed to make a call.

"Left…right…left…right…"

It was amazing that Tezuka was this patient. By this point, anyone else would have exploded. Oh…if Nanjiroh saw his son now, he would make some kind of comment about Ryoma having good taste in boys even if it _was_ a disappointment that there would be no girls running around the house any time soon.

Ryoma let out a yelp as he lost balance again, his legs starting to slide between Tezuka's.

"Not happening," the bespectacled boy replied. He pulled Ryoma back up, though he had to repeat this six times before the younger could stand again. "Up we go, Echizen."

"Arigatou, buchou."

"Don't."

"Nani?" Ryoma asked.

"Don't thank me. This is the easy part."

Fuji blew in Ryoma's ear and took hold of his hips from behind. "Indeed. You'll be steadier if I hold you, Echizen. Ready to go again?"

Tezuka almost smiled, Ryoma would later swear. There was a slight upward twitch to his lips before his expression grew blank. "Echizen? …Echizen, are you ready?"

"Ano…hai."

"Here we go."

They began again and Ryoma was surprised to find that he was steadier with both senpais holding him. Kaidoh, he noted enviously, was already gliding across the ice easily. He was a bit shaky but he was still balanced, with Inui trailing behind just in case of anything. Momoshiro was inching along the ice with Taka-san at his side, but not holding on to his arm unless he started to slip.

"We're going to turn now, Echizen-kun," Fuji stated. "Ready?"

"Hai…"

They slid to the right. Ryoma over-balanced and fell.

"Ow."

His seniors pulled him up and started brushing ice from his jacket and jeans. Fuji chuckled slightly and he heard Tezuka reply with a 'shut up'. Tezuka had muttered something else but only Fuji heard and it had evidently been amusing because Fuji just chuckled again. They straightened up. And froze.

"Ne, Tezuka, that's fraternization," Fuji whispered.

"Nn." All Tezuka's…'chattiness' had disappeared. "Leave them…"

"I suppose that's the second reason they're the Golden **Pair**."

"Nn. Echizen, go."

Fuji radiated anger at those words but smiled still as they each took one of Ryoma's hands, as they had before. He was making baby steps toward skating on his own…until he saw why his senpais had frozen. Oishi was sitting on the bench with Eiji on his lap…they seemed to be happily making out. He promptly slipped and fell.

-x-X-x-

Ryoma sank gratefully onto the bench.

"Ten minutes, Echizen," Tezuka said, tightening his bootlaces. "Drink some water, there's a bottle in the bag, and eat something. There's…food in the bag as well."

"Ne, Tezuka, didn't you look at what you packed?" Fuji asked coolly.

"Iie. I woke up late. Ready?"

"Always."

They skated off together as Ryoma cracked open a Ponta that he'd found in Tezuka's bag. Incidentally, it was the only Ponta but Ryoma didn't think anyone would mind. He didn't care if anyone minded. He watched the captain and the tensai skate around the rink. Fuji was speaking, sharp blue eyes glaring sideways at Tezuka, who may or may not have responded. They were too far for him to tell whether his buchou had grunted in reply or not.

Kaidoh pushed Momoshiro over, the latter yelping.

"Two laps, Kaidoh!" Tezuka snapped, looking cross.

"But…I…but – but!"

"Now! And…yudan sezu ni ikou…"

Ryoma turned away to watch Kaidoh begin his agonizingly slow laps and when he turned back, he almost sloshed his Ponta down his shirt. Fuji was lacing his fingers through Tezuka's and beaming at full force. Tezuka was shaking his head and muttering something before he grabbed Fuji's other hand and started to skate backward, pulling the tensai along. Ryoma had only been slightly suspicious before but now…

The event that confirmed his suspicions, however…

Tezuka slid to a stop as Fuji spoke again. The tensai collided with the captain and tilted his head back, looking expectant. Tezuka leaned down and said something, looking hesitant. Fuji cracked open one eye briefly before placing a hand on the back of Tezuka's neck and yanking him down…into a liplock.

Ryoma looked around. Taka-san was sitting with Momo, tightening the second year's bootlaces. Kaidoh was halfway through his second lap. He reached over and tugged Inui's sleeve.

"Inui-senpai…"

Inui looked at him. "We thought you would be the first to figure it out…you never did, did you?"

"What's going on?!"

Ryoma didn't like being unsure. But that's how he felt.

"Why are they _kissing_?"

"Because they're _gay_, Echizen. They're gay and together…a gay couple," Kaidoh said, stopping before them and trying to control his breathing. "Like me and Inui-senpai…like Eiji-senpai and Oishi-senpai."

"Since when?" Ryoma asked sulkily. "I would have noticed."

"You should have," Inui agreed.

"They can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I say so."

Kaidoh started to laugh. "You can't control our buchou or the resident tensai, Echizen. So don't get the idea that you can."

Ryoma started slightly at the realizations: he was being childish. And he was…_jealous_! He looked back at the seniors. They had moved from simply kissing to full-blown **snogging**, right in front of everyone. Fuji was holding Tezuka's glasses loosely in one hand and gripping Tezuka's neck with his other. Tezuka had one arm around Fuji's waist and his free hand was cupping the tensai's cheek.

"Would they just…GET A ROOM," Ryoma said loudly.

The two carefully extracted themselves from each other's grip. Fuji smiled and pushed Tezuka's glasses onto his own face. The captain ran a hand through his hair and called after Fuji, who was skating away.

"I'm blind, Fuji. I want my glasses back right now."

"You should have worn your contacts, nya," Eiji giggled. "You have them in your pocket and Fuji knows, nya."

Oishi couldn't help but crack a smile. "I'll help Tezuka to the bench to put them in."

Ryoma watched as the tensai halted next to him and slipped the glasses into Tezuka's bag.

"Tezuka-buchou looks good without his glasses, doesn't he, Echizen?" he asked.

"Doesn't make a difference to me."

"Really?"

"No."

"Really?"

"No."

"Really?"

"No."

"Not really?"

"No."

Fuji smirked smugly as Ryoma realized what had happened. "So he does! We have the same taste in men, ne, Echizen-kun?"

"I'm not gay."

"Reeeeeeeeally?" Fuji stood beside him and snatched his Ponta. "Ne, Tezuka! Echizen took the Ponta!"

Tezuka almost winced as he slid his second contact lens in. He glared straight across the rink at Ryoma. "That was supposed to be if you succeeded in skating alone."

Ryoma shrugged. "Too bad."

"Punishment…" Tezuka added.

"So?"

"Fuji-senpai, what do you think buchou should do?" Kaidoh asked, settling himself within the circle of Inui's arms while they managed to look like they weren't a couple.

"I think…it's only fair that…"

Tezuka slid up behind the blue-eyed boy. "He should do some laps."

"Naked?" Fuji asked.

"No."

"Hmph."

"Wearing a dress."

"Oh?"

"No."

"Hmph."

"A kimono…a _pink_ kimono."

"I thought we'd agreed to throw that away."

"Yes. Well…"

Fuji attempted to stifle his laughter. "You kept it!"

Momo and Kawamura joined them, Momo taking much longer to reach the group. He collapsed quickly onto the bench.

"What? Kept what? What are we talking about?" he asked.

"Eiji's pink kimono," Inui answered. "The own he had to wear while playing against Fuji when he almost killed Tezuka with his racquet. I never saw something that size move at that velocity. If it had been angled two degrees to the left, it might have missed Tezuka altogether. It's quite intriguing that Tezuka kept the kimono after using it on Fuji last year after the Nationals."

The racquet-thrower piped up with, "But it was an accident, nya!"

Ryoma blinked very slowly. This decided it. He was never going ice-skating again.

-x-X-x-

A/N: Should I stop here or continue? If you want Ryoma doing laps in a pink kimono, I'll write it. I _am_ a sadist. You want more Momo-chan-senpai wobbling on ice skates? You got it! You want Tezuka to reply to Inui's last comments? I'll give it to you, straight up. You want lemon? …Give me a few more months. Lime? Yeah, why not!

Now, I thought it logical that Ryoma can't skate, since he only counts tennis and Karupin as important when you look at it. If I'm wrong, feel free to tell me. But don't bother flaming. Insults slide off my back like water off a duck's feathers. So…yeah.

M-chan, I tried to remember all the crap you told me to edit but my insane better half (Kenny!) has the fic. If you don't like it, well…LOB LOB LOB to you!

Well, Tuesday means I stay back…I watched the tennis practice again! About three balls almost hit me but the coach was nice enough. M-chan kept calling him Sensei by accident!

I suppose this can be dedicated to my cousin Luna and her best friend Sofie for teaching me to ice skate. Unlike Ryoma, I didn't totally suck. Apparently, I learnt quickly on a day when it was difficult for them to skate (and they've been skating since…forever). But I _did_ sit on the ice and pout when I fell once. I also belly-flopped onto the ice while reaching for the bench and my abdomen hurt like WHOA after that (I was having my monthly spazz, you know). And the techniques, minus the flirting and romance, that Tezuka and Fuji used are the same.

-James the Sadist.

P.S. Tezuka strikes me as someone who might carry contact lenses in case his glasses break. I don't know why. Well… 'yudan sezu ni ikou' and all, you know.


End file.
